


Coconuts

by bribrifeefee



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye
Genre: I Blame Tumblr, Vampire AU, everyone else is kinda just mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:42:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22368898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bribrifeefee/pseuds/bribrifeefee
Summary: This was entirely based from a conversation on Tumblr about coconut water and blood transfusions.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Coconuts

**Author's Note:**

> It’s got weirdish pacing and mention of blood. (This is a Vampire AU.) Hope you enjoy!

Being a vampire was a subject not to be brought up. Jameson learned this very, very quickly. Even though he's been living with the others for over two years, he hasn't told them he is a vampire. He trusted these people with his life. They were his family. He dreaded bringing it up, scared of what they would say. So he just,,, didn't say anything. He's been alive for over a century now. That part is a little hard to grasp, but he manages.

Now, you may be wondering how he sustains his need for blood and whatever. Easy. Coconut water. It's sort of weird, but he's used to it. Some guy found out coconut water could be used as an emergency blood transfusion, and some other vampire wanted to know if vampires could drink it and have their hunger satisfied. It surprisingly worked.

The other egos think Jameson is just really into coconuts. He's even got a tree in the backyard because Jameson was tired of having to go to the store. (Listen, stores mean people and Jameson just doesn't want to talk to strangers anymore.)

Apparently, there are some vampires that do drink human blood, which is really disgusting. Like, why the fucking hell do you want to do that?? They also taste gross.

It's hard sometimes. Hiding fangs, indenture marks(coconuts are easier to drink from if he just bites them with his fangs, sue him), health issues, the fact that he does know what an iPhone is (looking at you, Chase), etc. He worries a lot. And if anyone would figure it out first, it's Henrik or Marvin. Both are home a lot and extremely observant. And Henrik's a doctor.

When Jameson gets injured and Henrik knows/find out about it, then Jameson has to stop feeding. Otherwise, the wound heals and then why bother hiding it. Might as well put a giant light up, neon sign on him stating that he is a vampire. The issue is that then he starves, and that's not fun.

He's glad that mirrors became lined with aluminum. Imagine the horror of them not seeing him with a reflection. Good Lord, that would be worse than the time he was almost burned by a bunch of old-fashioned clerics. (It was a really, really odd situation that Jameson would never want to be in again.)

It was a Saturday night. Marvin has a show or practice tonight, so he was out of the house. Jackie was on patrol. Henrik has a shift. Chase said he had something to do tonight. Jameson himself didn't have anything to do. So, he decided he'd just lounge around, eat a coconut while he was at it.

He ended up on his bed, reading a history book nitpicking at all the wrong things in it(way too much as well). He had his fangs in a coconut that was pinned between his chest and arm. He was mindlessly drinking from it, his focus on the book that was so atrociously wrong he began to wonder if he had woken up in a different universe.

There was a knock on the door before the door opened.

"Hey, JJ!" Chase's voice was cheery. "I got back early, and was thinking we could... What are you doing?"

Jameson stared at the other ego, eyes wide and fangs still in the coconut. He carefully maneuvered his hands so he could sign the word for reading and point to the book. Chase stared at him skeptically.

"Yeah, but what the fuck are you doing to the coconut." Jameson stared at him before setting the book down.

 _'Drinking?'_ Jameson signed to him, keeping the coconut in the same spot.

Chase moved closer to the bed and Jameson felt his stomach fall. Why'd it have to be Chase? He was the closest to Chase. Why couldn't he have nice things?

Chase sat on the edge of the bed. "Dude, I don't think anyone drinks coconuts like that."

 _'You'd be surprised.'_ Jameson moved his hands so he could move the coconut away from his mouth. He covered his mouth so Chase couldn't see his mouth(and his ever loving fangs that were not growing smaller fast enough). Jameson set the coconut on the bed and picked up the book again, using it to cover his mouth.

 **"What did you want to do?"** The slide appeared above Jameson.

Chase's eyes were on the coconut beneath the book. Jameson went to move it, but Chase already grabbed it from its spot.

"Holy shit," Chase inspected (the holes on) the coconut. "Jameson, are you a vampire?" Chase looked up at him.

Jameson stared at him before blurting, **"who's Jameson?"** Jameson has never wanted to die so much and so fast before. Chase laughed and Jameson felt his stomach twist.

"Dude, why didn't you tell us before! We could've helped you out."

Jameson blinked at Chase. **"You're not scared?"**

"Nah." Chase waves his hand in a 'no' motion. "Jackie's been a vampire since day one. Where do you think his powers came from?"

Jameson let out a relieved laugh. **"Oh God. I honestly don't know how I managed this far. You don't know how relieved I am."**

"Yeah, what's with the coconuts anyway?" Chase set the coconut back down on the bed.

 **"Some guy figured out it was a great alternative to blood. Which is great because I hate the taste of humans."** Jameson paused. **"No offense."**

"None taken," Chase said. "Jackie will be happy though. He's not alone, and he doesn't have to rely on blood from the hospital."

Jameson smiled. **"What'd you come in for anyway?"**

"Oh, yeah! I was thinking we could watch some movies. Nitpick at ones we've already watched since you love to do that and it's fun." Jameson nodded at the idea. They both got up, Jameson grabbing the coconut, and left the room.

Maybe it was okay letting the others know.


End file.
